I was thinking back, as I sometimes do, to the days when I used to be more easily sidetracked by the notion of being in love. It completely ruined me. Made me look stupid and unhinged to people who would otherwise have thought I had my head on straight. If you had occasion to run into me during my crazy years, I probably came across as the biggest idiot in the room. I know of at least two friends from high school who ran into me when I was at my lowest point with it all and I’m certain they thought I had lost my mind.

To be fair, I was dealing with a manipulative narcissist who had captured my heart during my formative years. No matter how mad I was at him for his indiscretions, he could always pull me back in with those three little words that I now refuse to acknowledge. The farther I get from him, the better I feel. The more I refuse to fondly look back on how much I loved him, the easier it is for me to act like I have some sense.

I think we all have someone like that. That one person whom we’ve given unspoken permission to hurt us at every turn. The one we’ve decided to forgive on a continual basis. The Ross to our Rachel. Our penguin, if you will. Why? What on earth would possess us to do this? Is familiarity really worth that much to us? Is the rest of life so bad that we must cling to something we know, even if we know it is bad for us? I guess so. I did it for years, but finally, after a rather blatant affront, I cut him loose. Unceremoniously blocked him and told myself if I ever looked back on him with anything but disdain, I would gladly kick my own rear end.

I’ve had no contact with him for over a year now and those feelings I used to have for him have disappeared. He is nothing more to me than a distant memory of a time in my life when I wasn’t myself. My current self wouldn’t put up with that. And neither will my future self. I’ve decidedly declared my heart a no penguin zone.

Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at highergroundbooksandmedia@gmail.com.

The perfect book to capture the meaning of the Valentine’s Day season. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else. So, get yourself right! Get Single, Sober, & Serious and don’t fall for the wrong partner again.

Available in the HGBM Shop!

answers connections empowerment healing Learning lifestyle loneliness love people relationships sadness thinking change couples empowerment healing love motivation moving forward moving on pain relationships single society soul mates