Today’s Pondering~Not me…

I was thinking back, as I sometimes do, to the days when I used to be more easily sidetracked by the notion of being in love. It completely ruined me. Made me look stupid and unhinged to people who would otherwise have thought I had my head on straight. If you had occasion to run into me during my crazy years, I probably came across as the biggest idiot in the room. I know of at least two friends from high school who ran into me when I was at my lowest point with it all and I’m certain they thought I had lost my mind.

To be fair, I was dealing with a manipulative narcissist who had captured my heart during my formative years. No matter how mad I was at him for his indiscretions, he could always pull me back in with those three little words that I now refuse to acknowledge. The farther I get from him, the better I feel. The more I refuse to fondly look back on how much I loved him, the easier it is for me to act like I have some sense.

I think we all have someone like that. That one person whom we’ve given unspoken permission to hurt us at every turn. The one we’ve decided to forgive on a continual basis. The Ross to our Rachel. Our penguin, if you will. Why? What on earth would possess us to do this? Is familiarity really worth that much to us? Is the rest of life so bad that we must cling to something we know, even if we know it is bad for us? I guess so. I did it for years, but finally, after a rather blatant affront, I cut him loose. Unceremoniously blocked him and told myself if I ever looked back on him with anything but disdain, I would gladly kick my own rear end.

I’ve had no contact with him for over a year now and those feelings I used to have for him have disappeared. He is nothing more to me than a distant memory of a time in my life when I wasn’t myself. My current self wouldn’t put up with that. And neither will my future self. I’ve decidedly declared my heart a no penguin zone.

Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at

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My name is Rebecca Benston. I’m a Christian. I’m a woman. I’m a mother. I’m a writer. I’m a thinker. When I write fiction, I am usually writing a mystery series called The Rona Shively Stories. My P.I. character, Rona Shively is feisty, fearless and fabulous and is usually caught up in something she doesn’t want to be caught up in. In addition to this series, I also have a blog called Higher Ground for Life. Through this blog, I’m hoping to reach women or anyone who is seeking to develop a relationship with God and give them inspiration to get out there and follow His path for their lives!
I also have a blog called Leading the Follower. This one is my favorite. I write about religion, faith, spirituality and all that goes along with it. What we believe, what we don’t believe, what we are told to believe and how society feels about believing in general. I do a lot of testifying here and some of what I say may make you angry. Most of it will make you think. Some of it will make you cry. Any of it could make you laugh. It’s really up to you.

If you are looking for practical advice, honest conversation, and no nonsense observations about living in today’s world, check out my blogs at and and and And if you’re so inclined, you can purchase my books and some other great, inspirational works from Higher Ground Books & Media at

Be blessed!

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