Over the last few weekends, I’ve noticed lots of posts from parents who were moving their kids into college dorms for the first or second or third time. My daughter, who graduated this past June, has decided to stick around for a bit and take some time to think about what she wants to do. And I’ve encouraged her to do that. I’m the last person who would put pressure on her to leave when she’s not ready. Mainly because I don’t really want her to leave, but also because there is too much pressure on kids to know everything about what they want to do before they’ve even had a chance to figure out the simplest of things.

Life was different when I was preparing to graduate from high school. Granted, it was over thirty years ago, but at the time, there weren’t nearly as many weird obstacles to face. I feel that our children’s plans for the future have been unjustly derailed by ridiculous political agendas and societal expectations that basically require them to choose to do things that aren’t necessarily in their best interests. For example, my teenage daughter refused to take the “vaccination” for COVID-19 (and I support this wholeheartedly), so she is likely unable to attend college unless she goes online. And in some cases, she may not even be able to do that. (I’ll have to write another blog post about how stupid that last part is when I have more time.) She was also not able to wear a mask for various reasons and so, ended up having to complete her last three years of high school online. Her life has been anything but normal since the whole COVID thing started…and for no good reason.

In any case, the idea of going away to school was the farthest thing from her mind when she finished up her high school studies. And this is sad for her because she was just getting to a place where she was feeling comfortable and developing good relationships and building her identity at school when the “pandemic” hit. All of the work she had done to overcome challenges with anxiety was basically undone by the unfair regulations and restrictions and it truly hampered her ability to be a normal student. As a result, she was no longer able to participate in choir (and she had been involved in it for years). She was not able to get back to some of her favorite teachers and spend time with friends as she had been before everything turned stupid. And now, she is trying to figure out how to live her life in a society that no longer makes sense.

Unless she wants to go along with policies she doesn’t agree with and subject herself to things that may not be healthy for her, she has to choose a life that doesn’t line up with anyone’s expectation of what her life should look like. We’ve talked about it quite a bit and I think that, though this may be painful for a while, this will eventually be a good thing for her. Going along with something simply because everyone else is falling in step is not always the best thing for us. Especially when the people who are making the rules are trying to direct our steps away from God and His purpose for us. I also opted for a different direction than most of the “friends” I had in high school. And it didn’t stop me from being able to achieve the same level of success as many of my classmates. The road I took may have been a bit more difficult at times, but the result has been perfectly fine. I found God on that road and I may not have been able to do that had I simply gone along with someone else’s idea of what I should do.

At eighteen, life can be extremely perplexing. And it’s still perplexing at fifty. What matters is the quality of the life you enjoy when you choose to live your life as God intended. Some people value being securely tucked into the fold and allowing the current of the herd to carry them to their next destination. Others, want to be able to stop and redirect when necessary, especially when the herd is heading in the wrong direction. Splitting off from the crowd is always frowned upon by the crowd. And life is always going to be a bit more difficult for you if you’re not afraid to ask questions when everyone else is taking commands. But, that difficulty is a small price to pay for the security and peace of knowing that the voice that guides you belongs to God and not to a group of people who have no love for Him or need for His guidance.

I’ve learned from years of trial and error that the proverbial juice isn’t worth the squeeze…(I’m using my 2022 daily trite sayings calendar for reference today). I’m proud of my daughter for being content to sit this one out until things become more clear and less volatile. Sometimes, we just need to “be still,” but there are those who are so afraid of missing out on what the world offers that they sacrifice themselves at the altar of something that means absolutely nothing. And where will they find themselves at the end of all of this?

Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at highergroundbooksandmedia@gmail.com.

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