Today’s Pondering~Now what?
Roe versus Wade has finally been overturned and I’m sure that most Christians and pro-life advocates are overjoyed at the news. It is, in fact a huge win for pro-life advocates, but will it bring about the results that they had hoped for? The fact remains that until we have good solid teaching for our youth they will not grow into adults who act responsibly when it comes to sex. Until we build a foundation with our children that teaches them to respect themselves and others and to consider the act of making a baby one that is sacred and that it is very much a gift from God, we are still going to have the problem of unwanted pregnancies and the issue of how to deal with them. Until we deal with the depravity that has gotten such a hold on our society, we will still have the problem of the molestation and rape which lead to situations where a victim may become pregnant. Is it right to expect that victim to carry the child knowing that there is an immense amount of trauma associated with its conception?
For a long time I was pro-choice. I am also a rape survivor. Thankfully I never had to make the choice as to whether or not I would keep a child. In fact I suffered five miscarriages after I was married. It was at that point that I changed my stance from pro-choice to pro-life. I didn’t fully understand the gravity of it all until I experienced pregnancy, childbirth, and loss for myself. And having a greater understanding of these things now, I can’t imagine willingly terminating a pregnancy. I say that having experienced an attack which could have left me with a child at a time when I most certainly was not equipped to be a mother.
I am grateful to have been spared of that dilemma. Perhaps dilemma isn’t a strong enough word. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that I’m grateful that God didn’t give me that trial to endure. Thinking back to the time when it happened, I don’t think I would’ve been able to make a good decision if it had come to that. The idea of killing a child for any reason is not something that sits well with me. I actually had my daughter at age 31 and was warned that there was a possibility she could be born with some sort of disability or genetic condition because of my advanced age. I did worry for a time about how I would handle that if the situation arose. But I can’t imagine, after having given birth,that I would ever have been able to say to the doctor, “Let’s just get rid of it.”
Now, there are a lot of hurt feelings out there right now. A lot of women are feeling as though this ruling has somehow removed their choice of whether or not to have a child. I think that is very much an overstatement of what the whole thing means. Nobody is holding a gun to anyone’s head and saying that they must absolutely bear children if they don’t want to. The issue is that the decision needs to be made before you engage in the behavior that actually creates the child.
You have the right to say no to sex.
You have the right to use contraception.
You have the right to get the morning after pill.
You also have the right to have your tubes tied.
There are many options available for the majority of women out there who find themselves in situations where they somehow feel threatened by the notion of becoming pregnant. The best option, of course, being not to engage in activity that results in pregnancy. If you’re not having sex, there is virtually no chance of becoming pregnant. Now, I know there are also concerns about those who have suffered through rape or molestation. This is a huge concern for me as well. What happens to those women and girls who have been forced into sex and who end up pregnant as a result?
The ruling eliminated the Constitutional right to an abortion. The states now have the authority to determine whether or not they will allow abortions to take place. My understanding of this is that there are still provisions in place to provide support to women who have been raped or molested. I am still researching this and so far, I’ve found the following article which breaks down the current abortion laws for each state: https://www.the-sun.com/news/3586925/abortion-law-state-us/
I would love to hear from anyone who has a legitimate resource for finding information on how those provisions for victims of rape or molestation will be carried out. While I do not support abortion, I have enough compassion to understand there is no choice involved which doesn’t carry with it a substantial degree of physical, mental, emotional, and psychological anguish. This goes for women who chose to have sex and for women who did not. Having a child is terrifying and comes with a huge amount of stress and ongoing pressure to protect, guide, and nurture your child. It is not a responsibility that one can or should take lightly. For someone who has decided to have an abortion as the result of being victimized, the decision to abort compounds the pain of having been violated. I have to believe that no woman or girl who has ever had an abortion has come away from it gleeful or without feeling the full weight of the decision. Even those who are severely misguided and somehow see it as a joke or some self-righteous act of rebellion cannot escape the emotional impact of extinguishing a life. They may never admit it, but they’re hurting.
I don’t necessarily need to hear from people who don’t agree with what I’ve said here. I pretty much know what you’ll say and I don’t want to spend hours responding to those who respond angrily or disrespectfully. I’ve argued these points consistently. Even when I was pro-choice, I didn’t feel that abortions should be seen as a means of contraception. I simply thought that women should have the right to get one if they felt it was necessary (and I trusted that most women understood when that point might be). So, maybe I wasn’t as pro-choice as today’s advocates for abortion, but it seems like it meant something slightly different back then. Over the years, it has become increasingly acceptable to disregard the value of human life. And problems that have been around forever still fall through the cracks. No one wants to do anything about the problems that lead to rape and molestation, so the victimization will continue until we get to a point where awareness is as high as possible and those who are convicted of rape or molestation receive more than just a slap on the wrist. The problems of our society are interconnected and they all stem from having a society that has little regard for God’s word and little respect for Him as their Creator. So, we must get to the heart of the matter and begin the healing process well before the injury takes place. Instead of being pro-life or pro-choice, let’s be pro-active. It seems impossible, but with God at the center of things, all things are possible. I remain in prayer for His guidance on how to bring this issue to complete resolution so that the pain can stop, once and for all, for everyone involved.
Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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My name is Rebecca Benston. I’m a Christian. I’m a woman. I’m a mother. I’m a writer. I’m a thinker. When I write fiction, I am usually writing a mystery series called The Rona Shively Stories. My P.I. character, Rona Shively is feisty, fearless and fabulous and is usually caught up in something she doesn’t want to be caught up in. In addition to this series, I also have a blog called Higher Ground for Life. Through this blog, I’m hoping to reach women or anyone who is seeking to develop a relationship with God and give them inspiration to get out there and follow His path for their lives!
I also have a blog called Leading the Follower. This one is my favorite. I write about religion, faith, spirituality and all that goes along with it. What we believe, what we don’t believe, what we are told to believe and how society feels about believing in general. I do a lot of testifying here and some of what I say may make you angry. Most of it will make you think. Some of it will make you cry. Any of it could make you laugh. It’s really up to you.
If you are looking for practical advice, honest conversation, and no nonsense observations about living in today’s world, check out my blogs at http://highergroundbooksandmedia.com and http://www.ronashively.wordpress.com and http://www.highergroundforlife.wordpress.com and http://www.leadingthefollower.wordpress.com. And if you’re so inclined, you can purchase my books and some other great, inspirational works from Higher Ground Books & Media at http://highergroundbooksandmedia.com.
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