When I was growing up, my world revolved around my mother. We spent lots of time together while my father was on the road working his construction business. Much of the time, it was just Mom and me. I can remember the smell of our house after Mom had gotten out her cleaning supplies and sprayed all of the furniture down with Lemon Pledge. Most of the time, our house was filled with the smell of bleach, dish soap, and laundry detergent. She would get out the old feather duster and go over every surface, making sure that each of her knick-knacks were clean and dust-free. She ran the vaccuum cleaner over our old-fashioned 70’s shag carpet and polished up all of the tables and shelves until they shone. And in the midst of all of this, she would make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day. She made sure to have plenty of snacks in the refrigerator for us, including lots of goodies like frozen fudge bars or boxes of pudding or popcorn to make on the stove. This was all before microwaves…if you can even imagine that.

Looking back on these things, I can now see what all of that work truly meant. I can see it clearly now because these are some of the same things I’ve done for my own daughter as we’ve been on our own since 2010. Though I didn’t fully understand it as a child, the meaning of all of those things has come full circle and I have had the privilege of experiencing it from the other side as well. It meant that she loved me. It meant that she took her role as a mother and caretaker very seriously and that she wanted me to have the best life possible…even though things might not have been so wonderful under the surface. My mother’s care never wavered, though the support that she received from my father and others always did. I watched her stuggle through so much later on as the truth of her situation became something I could understand. And though she must have endured so much heartache and pain, her love for me and for my sisters never changed. She always made sure that we had what we needed and she tried to give us the things we wanted when she could. All the time, trying to teach us not to let people treat us badly and to never, ever be dependent on anyone to give you what you need.

I love my mother more than just about anyone in the world. She and my daughter are the two most important people in my life (sisters, please don’t take offense. I love you, too). Between these two women, I’ve learned how important it is to love and be loved unconditionally. I’ve learned how the little things we do for one another carry the biggest messages. I’ve learned that without these connections, life would simply not be worth living. I’m grateful to have my mother in my life and to have been able to learn how to be a mother to my own daughter from this woman whom I consider to be the best example of what a mother should be. If you can, hug your mother tight this Mother’s Day. And if you can’t, please be sure to take some time to remember all of the little things she was teaching you when you didn’t even realize you were learning. A mother is the most important thing you’ll ever have. Without her, you wouldn’t be here. And you most certainly wouldn’t know how to survive this crazy world without a mother’s love.

God bless all of the mothers out there! Have a wonderfully, Happy Mother’s Day tomorrow.

See How Strong You Are by Rebecca Benston is the story of a little girl who is struggling with anxiety and doesn’t want to leave her mother to go to school. Follow Mya through her day as she finally figures out that no matter what, Mom will always be there for her.

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