In all honesty, it has become increasingly difficult to be able to say this. I know where God has been with me. I know what He has done for me. I’m probably the last person who would have a right to question God about anything. But lately, I’ve been feeling deeply pressed about all of the things I’ve seen and heard. On an almost daily basis, I’ve been asking Him, “Why?” Why is He allowing so much evil to drive good people into poverty or sickness? Why is He allowing children to be trafficked, victimized, and in many cases killed? Why will He not facilitate a way for the truth to come out and touch every person who is still not paying attention? Why?

The more I think about these things, the harder it has been for me to effectively evangelize. How can I preach or teach others about God and all of the wonderful blessings He has given me over the years when so many are suffering for what appears to be no good reason? How can I even begin to help someone understand how God’s presence changes us when I can’t seem to find Him, myself? And it’s not that I’m not trying. On the contrary, I’ve been trying even harder over the last few years to maintain connection to God. But, it’s getting harder to hear Him or find His guidance where I was once able to find it. So, what do I do?

After much prayer and a whole lot of soul searching, the answer to this question is clear. I keep going. I keep reaching out to Him. I keep listening for His voice. I keep looking for a sign that He is with me. And I never allow myself to forget where He was when I wouldn’t give Him the time of day. During those years when I had decided that there was no reason to talk to God because He didn’t love me anyway, He was still right beside me, healing me as I dragged my brokenness from one failed attempt at living to the next. And although I never asked Him to do it, He fixed so much of that brokenness as I reluctantly held onto hope that someone would eventually save me from the catastrophe that I had become.

It is so hard to keep believing when you see so much wrong in the world around you. But if having faith were easy, it really wouldn’t be worth as much as it is. As we head into Easter weekend, we must remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us on the cross. We must ask ourselves why He would have done such a thing when so many simply didn’t care who He was or what He had to say. If you have been wondering whether or not the effort you’re putting in is worth it, take a moment to think past the toll it may be taking on you and consider what it means to others out there. God doesn’t always design our walk in a way that makes sense to us. His plan isn’t always tidy or without obstacles for us to face. Only He can see the puzzle pieces as a complete picture. And in order for us to be able to put them in place correctly, we have to trust in His guidance. Or sit here with a whole bunch of pieces that don’t seem to go together.

Don’t give up on solving the puzzle. At the right time, God will show you how it all fits. And the picture you see will be a thing of beauty. I truly believe it will.

Rebecca Benston is the owner of Higher Ground Books & Media and the author of over twenty titles currently available through Amazon and other outlets. Her books include a mystery series (The Rona Shively Stories), empowerment resources such as Wise Up to Rise Up, Don’t Be Stupid (And I Mean That in the Nicest Way), and From Judgment to Jubilee, children’s books including Grumble D. Grumble Learns to Smile, All the Scary Things, and See How Strong You Are. Benston lives in Springfield, Ohio with her awesome daughter, Mya and enjoys traveling, reading, writing, and telling it like it is. She enjoys being able to help other authors get their stories out there through Higher Ground and has recently expanded her freelance services to offer more extensive guidance as a writing coach and social media manager. For more information, you can contact Benston at highergroundbooksandmedia@gmail.com.

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