~Proverbs 2:10-12 (NIV)~

What is it about the tough times in our lives that cause us to completely abandon all of the learning and wisdom that we have amassed over our time with God?  There are days when I fear that I may completely revert back to a time when I had absolutely no idea how to handle anything.  How can I be so sure one minute that I’m doing the right thing and so completely confused the next?  It states in the Proverb above, “Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,” and surely, when it comes to matters of the heart we find ourselves in a special kind of warfare. 

No one wants to believe that the object of their affections would ever hurt them, at least not intentionally.  It is so hard to know sometimes whether or not that person in your life is operating from a place where they are considering your feelings.  It is equally difficult to know whether or not you, yourself are actually considering the other person’s feelings.  Sometimes we forget that we cannot force another person to give more love than they are capable of giving.  No matter how much healing and growing we’ve done in our own lives, this does not translate into an abundance of healing having occurred in those whom we attract.  Even if the other person has done some growing, you need to understand that they are walking their own path.  What makes sense in your journey, may not yet make sense to them or they may have passed that milestone long before you appeared in their periphery. 

I’m a believer in second chances.  I believe that if something didn’t work in the past, if God sees fit to bring it back into your life then He at least wants you to learn something from it.  The trick is knowing whether or not that lesson will bring with it something that offers its own rewards or if it will become yet another in a long list of trials that you must endure to become closer to being the person God wants you to be.   What I know about myself is that when I am faced with an opportunity to do better, I can spend countless hours beating myself up when I fall short.  These hours of self-chastisement are not glorifying to God and they certainly don’t bring good witness to all that He has shown me over the years.  To put it plainly, I know better than to feel bad because I can’t make something happen in and of my own power.  I know at this stage of the game that only God has the power to make something work and that if He doesn’t mean for it to work, it just won’t.  When I allow myself to rest on the knowledge that I have absolutely no control over what is happening in my life, I can always see the good in even the worst of situations. 

So what shall I do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my understanding; I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my understanding.

~1 Corinthians 14:15 (NIV)~