It’s amazing what a change of perspective can do for you. Sometimes just shifting your field of vision a few degrees away from where you’ve been opens up a whole new set of opportunities. As I was thinking of ways to share with others just how much God has done in my life, I started looking through some of my old blog posts. I’m not sure what I was looking for, but what I found was that I haven’t been enjoying my writing nearly as much as I did when I started these blogs. Not that I haven’t wanted to say what I have said; it’s more that the inspiration for that writing has had a very different force behind it than what it once had. Whereas my earlier writings were driven more by anger and fear; what I’ve been writing lately has come from a place of obedient caution. Perhaps a little too much at times. It occurred to me as I read back through some of those posts that God didn’t create me to be so cautious with my words. He made me to be outspoken and to say what was on my mind. This is why He gave me the ability to write and what He is hoping I will use to get His word out to people in a way that will be both informative and entertaining at the same time. In truth, some of what I’ve written lately is just plain snore-inducing and I hate that I have put so little of my heart into it lately.
I had to ask myself, “What is it that you are afraid of?” Does this come from your need to be accepted? Is this something that you can overcome? Will you ever be able to write the things you want to write in the voice you want to write them in? Coming into this new walk with Christ, I’ve been holding back a lot of “me” for fear that the “me” I am would be offensive to Him. I now realize that He already knows who I am. He made me the way I am and He knows that I’m not completely being myself…and this grieves Him. Listening too much to what others believe to be the “right” way to be a Christian can certainly get you into trouble. You begin to cut off the parts of yourself that were meant to stand out. God gave you rough edges so that He could hold onto you, silly. They give Him the traction that He needs. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect. He doesn’t want me to be perfect; how boring would that be? He wants me to say what I mean to say, when I mean to say it and to whom I wish to say it. Holding back who I am isn’t a true testimony to Him at all. I’m just presenting back to the world man’s idea of what Jesus would want me to be and that’s not right at all.
So, the focus for day 3 becomes being the entire person that God has called me to be. I will not allow myself to censor or hold back any thought or feeling that I think I should express if led by Him to do so. And if the way I do it causes someone else to think I’m not a very good Christian, I need to just accept the fact that I can’t please everyone. If I am operating from a place where I feel God wants me to be, then His leading trumps everyone else’s acceptance of where I’m being led. That’s today’s goal. God willing, He’ll give me more to work with tomorrow.